scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
