u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
