he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
