i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Less talking, more tequila
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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