I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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