Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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