btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
