Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
