We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am spending my child support on dildos
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
