I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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