So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
