I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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