I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
