She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
