margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
