Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
