just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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