ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
