no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
