we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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