No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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