i just wanna soil my oats bro
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.