my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.