somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
smell my finger.
I love having hate sex.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you