Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
