mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
