Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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