I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize