Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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