Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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