Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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