I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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