I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize