do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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