I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She's the barista slut.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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