hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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