Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
