try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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