First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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