12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
