I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
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Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
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She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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