Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?