the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life