and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i think i just lost a toe