I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.