Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.