Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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