I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
