I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
