im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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