Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My cat gives me a boner
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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