shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
