Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
