Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize