My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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