god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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