mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
