Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
