come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize