Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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