This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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