Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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