my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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