My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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