You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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